Church hurt. Just hearing those words may stir memories of disappointment, betrayal, or pain from experiences with people who should have represented Jesus but fell short. Whether from insensitive comments, broken trust, or the weight of unmet expectations, church hurt is real, raw, and often difficult to understand. When hurt comes from those who were supposed to show you the love of Christ, it cuts deep. And for many of us, the pain is enough to make us wonder if God even sees or cares.
I get it because I’ve been there. I’ve wrestled with the bitterness, the feeling of being let down, and the temptation to walk away. But in my journey, I’ve found something that’s allowed me to heal: Jesus didn’t hurt me, people did. And that’s what I want to share with you today.
The Heartache of Church Hurt
The truth is, church hurt leaves us feeling vulnerable and betrayed in a way that’s hard to explain. The people we looked up to, trusted, and maybe even admired have shown a different side. It feels like they’ve stolen something sacred from us. I remember after experiencing my hurt, I thought; How can people who claim to follow Jesus act like this?
And then I started to wonder: If they hurt me, is Jesus any different? In the rawest moments of my pain, I started to link the actions of imperfect people to a perfect Savior. But here’s the hard truth we sometimes avoid: people are flawed and sinful, but Jesus isn’t.
People Are Broken—But Jesus Is Whole
The truth is, people—even in the church—are broken. They make mistakes, they misunderstand, and sometimes they hurt others. But Jesus is different. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). He’s not the one who judged, ignored, or betrayed you. He’s the One who loves you endlessly, who never changes, and who wants to heal your heart.
When we look at our wounds, it’s important to ask ourselves honestly: Who really hurt me? Was it Jesus, or was it imperfect people who didn’t live up to His standard?
Finding Freedom in Forgiveness
Forgiving those who hurt us in the church doesn’t mean excusing or forgetting what happened. Forgiveness is often messy, and it rarely happens all at once. But choosing to forgive is more about freeing ourselves from the pain that holds us captive.
In my own experience, forgiving didn’t happen overnight. I had to sit with my anger and hurt before I could let it go. But through prayer and honesty with God, I came to realize that holding onto bitterness only kept me trapped in the past. When I chose to forgive, it didn’t erase what happened, but it released me from carrying that weight.
Staying Close to Jesus in the Pain
Sometimes, when we’ve been hurt by people who represent Jesus, it’s tempting to think walking away is the best answer. But here’s something I learned the hard way: leaving Jesus doesn’t heal the hurt. He is the only one who knows exactly how to mend what’s been broken. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.”
Jesus gets our pain in ways that no one else can. He was betrayed, abandoned, and hurt by the very people He came to save. He knows exactly what it feels like to be let down by people who should have loved Him. And yet, He still loves us.
It might feel like staying in relationship with Jesus is too painful, but He is the One who can help us process the pain and bring us back to a place of trust. Walking away from Him only leads to a different kind of emptiness. Jesus didn’t hurt us—He’s actually the One who can bring us through the pain.
Finding Hope Beyond the Hurt
While it may be hard to trust a church community again, it’s possible to find healing alongside others who genuinely love Jesus. Look for those who show compassion and live with humility. They’re out there, I promise. And when you’re ready, let yourself lean into a community that can reflect the love Jesus has for you.
If you’re still in the thick of it, don’t give up. Jesus is there, even in the mess. He hasn’t left, and He won’t. Lean on Him, even when it’s hard. Let His love start to rebuild what’s been broken.
Holding On to the One Who Heals
Church hurt is raw and painful, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. It’s okay to be honest about how much it hurts. But please, don’t mistake the actions of imperfect people for the character of a perfect Savior. Jesus didn’t hurt you. People did. He’s the One who still loves you, who sees your pain, and who has the power to heal it. He wants to bring you peace and healing. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Don’t give up on Jesus because of the actions of others. Lean into Him, ask Him for the strength to forgive, and let Him guide you toward healing. One day, you’ll look back and realize that He was with you all along, carrying you through the pain and bringing you into peace. I am proof of that, church hurt is real, but so is Jesus.